02/28/06

Future in darkness; My dad.

It was a surprise to me this morning as my mum told me that my dad would be leaving for China soon, and he wants me to take over look after his local business before he leaves for the trip.

Apparently my schedules now are extremely tight; I have to attend WSS trainings and I am still stuck in that PHP corporate project.

I would really love to take over his business, since young I’ve been working with him, climbing up ladders and drilling holes. He had also often praise me that makes me so proud of myself when I was young and if it wasn’t that incident 3years back: He rented a huge commercial lorry for disposal purpose and I was giving him the signals to reverse and I didn’t take note of the Air-Conditioner’s compressor that was beside the lorry and the lorry crashed onto it. I’m a failure; I know it and I thought he would have scolded me but he didn’t, which made me felt more guilty. I came back home tearily and kept myself in the room. I know he doesn’t blame me, but I am responsible for that incident and up till now, I can still clearly remember that scene with the sound of the lorry crashing into that compressor. We’ve got away from compensating the compressor BUT the lorry was damaged and he ended up paying a few hundred bucks.

Its a bad scar on me, at that point of time I really wish I had the strength to move the lorry away from the compressor because the lorry got stuck there and only after several hard revs from the lorry, we managed to get away.

I also missed the times whereby after work, he would bring me to the pub at Liang Seah Street to chill out. Although its wasting my time, but at least I am with him I know that I could still get some help if he’s drunk.

Having injured in this industry is common, but there was a few extreme ones: I received a call from the hospital about 15years back and you know how frightened I was? My dad was badly injured because the Air-Condition compressor dropped down on his HEAD! All because of his f*cked up foreman, and he ended up having about 15 stitches on his head.. He didn’t whine much about it and return to work immediately afew days later. I’m just so proud of him.

And talking about the profitabilities of the businesses, its nothing more than covering the cost (which means there’s not much profit).. I’ll have to work extremely hard to bring it back to its prime and its not easy. I don’t have the professional skills yet! I have problems with managing the wires and pipes in my own house, let alone others.

And what about my studies? It was my departed grandpa’s wish to see me in University; he once had my fortune told and told me he had great prospects about my future when I was young. Since then I always had the image of me wearing that square hat during graduation; how glorious. Do I have to give this up? Is that square hat more important than respecting my dad? Do I have a choice or the choices?

Then I ask myself again, what am I going to work as after getting that square hat. My reply was to work as an I.T. consultant with two-thousands-plus-a-month salary. The problem is, is there a job now that gives such a pay to new graduates? Looking at the stiff competition of the graduates, if I have to make a turn to my future, I MUST DO IT NOW. But what if my decision is wrong?

I’m so confused. I wish I am still 16.

02/27/06

I ain’t a computer freak

I just need this whiteboard down here to be vandalised; to just slightly vent my angers on the world’s most unfair thing, that is I haven’t really catch a wink since last night, and I wish I could if not due to work constraints.. I need to rush this and that for the company and its just so rush! It just spoils my day completely, a day whereby I could have been outside chilling or in the school rather than staying home facing my monitor and hear all the noise pollution going round my house.

I’m a human too. That damn company. I ain’t wanna be a full-time computer freak; most of the time I program for the sake of interest and curiousity, not for money. And I would rather do several small projects for students rather than companies; at least the students still thank me for working out with them.. Companies think that they’ve big money and they give you the money, you have to do a flawless program.

Flawless Program? I’ve not met any programs so far that does not have a bug!

02/25/06

My Johari!

Updated on* 26/02/2006 1900hrs

Arena

(known to self and others)

friendly, sentimental, silly

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

adaptable, clever, dependable, energetic, extroverted, giving, helpful, idealistic, independent, intelligent, knowledgeable, logical, mature, modest, organised, responsive, self-conscious, sensible, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm

Façade

(known only to self)

caring, confident, loving

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, accepting, bold, brave, calm, cheerful, complex, dignified, happy, ingenious, introverted, kind, nervous, observant, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, searching, self-assertive, shy, sympathetic, tense, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

77% of people agree that PhusionLim is friendly
55% of people think that PhusionLim is helpful

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (22%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (11%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (33%) dignified (0%) energetic (33%) extroverted (11%) friendly (77%) giving (11%) happy (0%) helpful (55%) idealistic (22%) independent (11%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (11%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (33%) logical (22%) loving (0%) mature (22%) modest (22%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (11%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (11%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (11%) sentimental (44%) shy (0%) silly (11%) spontaneous (22%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (22%) warm (11%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 26.2.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view PhusionLim’s full data.

02/24/06

Photoshopped poser

I was looking in my photo library to see if there’s any hint about how my death would be (yes, just like Final Destination) and I got carried away, so I created something with my very old photo 3years ago:

Photoshop is a magic!

02/23/06

EQ Test

I’m feeling alittle bored and I saw this EQ quiz in Binglin’s Blog so I decided to try it myself..

You scored 55% correct!Remember you responses need to have been as honest as possible. If you feel that your score does not reflect you, please retake the test and answer each question in the way that best represents the way you typically feel.

Your score indicates that you have a below average EQ.

People that typically score in this range sometimes have trouble recognising and understanding their feelings. They are not always able to express their feelings in the most appropriate manner. They often have doubts and concerns about who they really are. They do not have much confidence in themselves and in their abilities. In most circumstances, they have a difficult time showing love, empathy and compassion for other people. In general, they are not comfortable with intimacy.

They also have trouble communicating with other people. They struggle with getting in tune with themselves and those around them. They may sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong moment. They sometimes find it hard to show their anger or deal with anger directed at them. At times they are unable to stand up for themselves when hurt or they are handle confrontation inappropriately. They may have trouble admitting when they are wrong; and when they do make mistakes, they are often uncomfortable apologising to those they hurt.

People with below average EQ may also have low levels of self-worth. They do not like challenges or commitment and are afraid of change. They have a difficult time staying motivated and focused when they have set unattainable goals for themselves. They are fairly pessimistic about themselves and their future.

However, one great thing about emotional intelligence is that it�s fluid! A person can increase their EQ at any point of their life! People with below average EQ can start by learning how to identify their emotions and take responsibility for them. There are many resources to help. People with low EQ can read books about EQ and social skills, find out about anger management courses and communication skills courses, join a support group or see a counsellor. They can keep a diary of their emotions, and ask their friends to help them recognise the things about themselves that need correcting. If these things are done there is no doubt that they can increase their emotional intelligence and live a healthy, happy life.

02/23/06

Final Destination 3

I have just watched the sneak preview of Final Destination 3: get ready for a trail on fleshes flying around, and get grossed to the ultimate point if you haven’t watch any of the Final Destination series before; start watching this movie right now. Don’t wait, because the next victim might be you.

final dest 3

02/23/06

Last day of Poly Life

Alright! I am OFFICIALLY graduating; which means I don’t have any more school semesters remaining, I am finally free from studying after 6+5+3 years of study.. But this also meant something else.. I am supposed to be ready for society and my days as a slave for books is going to change to become the slave for employers..

I’m gona miss the Lectures and tutorials; the days I slept inside with my friends, talking nonsense and playing my phone. Ignoring the lecturers, doing our own socialising, and ofcourse skipping inbetween lectures for snacks. I had a very fun life in TP, I guess its because of my classmates (203f people) and my diploma club (i.HUB and i.Alumni).. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun~ Haha.. And I will sure miss the western food and Currypuffs in Design School =/

I hate to leave the school, nowhere else can be more fun then staying in school and talking rots. I love TP!

02/21/06

Fisherman Village

Just fetched Xiaoye and Philbert to Fisherman Village again for supper to enjoy the sea breeze. The environment there is good for chilling; great music, pleasant surrondings, sounds of the clashing waves, good food and drinks and I’ve decided to go there at least once a week, that is if I have the access to the van on that day.

And something bad happened again; my van’s steering wheel alignment got screwed up and caused me to have some difficulty in driving back home and I don’t understand it =/. Dad will probably give me a spank if he finds out about it.. I think I would leave a post-it note outside his room and just admit it.

02/20/06

MTVs

Guess what!? It’s Dashboard’s Confession Hands’ Down MTV!

And Eminem’s When I’m Gone