Future in darkness; My dad.
It was a surprise to me this morning as my mum told me that my dad would be leaving for China soon, and he wants me to take over look after his local business before he leaves for the trip.
Apparently my schedules now are extremely tight; I have to attend WSS trainings and I am still stuck in that PHP corporate project.
I would really love to take over his business, since young I’ve been working with him, climbing up ladders and drilling holes. He had also often praise me that makes me so proud of myself when I was young and if it wasn’t that incident 3years back: He rented a huge commercial lorry for disposal purpose and I was giving him the signals to reverse and I didn’t take note of the Air-Conditioner’s compressor that was beside the lorry and the lorry crashed onto it. I’m a failure; I know it and I thought he would have scolded me but he didn’t, which made me felt more guilty. I came back home tearily and kept myself in the room. I know he doesn’t blame me, but I am responsible for that incident and up till now, I can still clearly remember that scene with the sound of the lorry crashing into that compressor. We’ve got away from compensating the compressor BUT the lorry was damaged and he ended up paying a few hundred bucks.
Its a bad scar on me, at that point of time I really wish I had the strength to move the lorry away from the compressor because the lorry got stuck there and only after several hard revs from the lorry, we managed to get away.
I also missed the times whereby after work, he would bring me to the pub at Liang Seah Street to chill out. Although its wasting my time, but at least I am with him I know that I could still get some help if he’s drunk.
Having injured in this industry is common, but there was a few extreme ones: I received a call from the hospital about 15years back and you know how frightened I was? My dad was badly injured because the Air-Condition compressor dropped down on his HEAD! All because of his f*cked up foreman, and he ended up having about 15 stitches on his head.. He didn’t whine much about it and return to work immediately afew days later. I’m just so proud of him.
And talking about the profitabilities of the businesses, its nothing more than covering the cost (which means there’s not much profit).. I’ll have to work extremely hard to bring it back to its prime and its not easy. I don’t have the professional skills yet! I have problems with managing the wires and pipes in my own house, let alone others.
And what about my studies? It was my departed grandpa’s wish to see me in University; he once had my fortune told and told me he had great prospects about my future when I was young. Since then I always had the image of me wearing that square hat during graduation; how glorious. Do I have to give this up? Is that square hat more important than respecting my dad? Do I have a choice or the choices?
Then I ask myself again, what am I going to work as after getting that square hat. My reply was to work as an I.T. consultant with two-thousands-plus-a-month salary. The problem is, is there a job now that gives such a pay to new graduates? Looking at the stiff competition of the graduates, if I have to make a turn to my future, I MUST DO IT NOW. But what if my decision is wrong?
I’m so confused. I wish I am still 16.