This is supposed to be my very last happening weekend.  I will be on that damn deserted island filled with greens of men and nature in 8 days time while my friends will be booking out and meeting one another, organising happening activities and maybe if they remembers me, they might give me a call and ask me to share their joy.

I'm gona spend this weekend more effectively but I can't.  I'm working throughout till the next week until the hearing of my dad's court case on the 5th October.  Lets hope things would turn out fine because I've been praying every now and then and my dad really changed for the good.  He hasn't been meeting his drinking kakis for the past 2 weeks and his mood is definitely much happier than those days he drink drafts to find pleasure.   I can see that he feels pretty bored at home to watch TV but thats the only thing he could do other than working and reading the newspaper.

I haven't been motivated enough to kickstart off any of my webdesign-stucked projects.  I'm totally screwed even Sunny the lazy ass despises me.  The remaining 8 days seems to be an impossible time left for web design because I wanna use them on my friends instead.

Perhaps I should just give them up.  

I wouldn't label this conversation with my friend 'retarded', but everyone has their own thoughts and ways of handling things.  We were discussing about buying a bike and it eventually like to getting a girlfriend and etc.

He was thus saying that if he's getting a bike, he's gona go for appearance (same as me).  Alright true enough, we are still young, ofcourse we wanna look and act 'sak' (cool).  But I told him, its more important to feel more comfortable with the bike than riding a bike that causes uncomfortability and it pisses you off everytime you ride.

Fuck.  He rather be uncomfortable and act cool.  So it eventually linked to getting girlfriend.  Rather have a chio girlfriend to show off to his friends,  than a good girlfriend to hide behind doors.  I supposed that's why he's still single till now.  Perhaps he's not experienced enough.  Girlfriends are not for show-offs, they're for … =X  OF COZ NOT (slap yourself if you were thinking of filling the word 'sex' into that blank!)  

I've tried to withdraw, somehow it seems impossible.  I'm missing you every now and then, but I refrained from telling you.  Terrible feeling with no-one around me to share.

Been to the temple earlier today offer my prayers to the god, hoping everything will be fine for my dad, my family and I will both be safe from harm.

Feeling very extremely confused.  I think I've been doing too much of reflection daily recently. 

Period. 

 the Surprise Celebration was held in Benjy's place:

(bi shi!!) 

(the bladers) 

Fuck.  I love the above pic alot (damn act cute ma.) =X [oh and I just realised the expression of bert and bing remained the same while taking shots for the 2 pictures. LOL!]

Anyway HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY PAT! 

Damn I had a fall while roller-blading at ECP yesterday and I couldn't sleep well last night again because of the sensitivity of the wound, hurt my wrist also.  But thats not the worse; the worse is I can't play my guitar for the next few days! =/

The blinks and flashes of red and blue light brightened the area around my house's Shell petrol kiosk.  I was summoned by my dad to drive his van home when I was at Adeline's house chilling and I didn't want to but he sounded urgent.  Xiaoye was kind enough to drive me down and collect the van that was guarded by 2 Traffic Police officers.

My dad was caught.  

I can't imagine how life would be without his license. 
I can't think about the peace of the family.
I can't link how things would be like anymore.
I can't go into NS without worries when things are like these.

My family needs me more! =/ 

Perhaps the real definition of bored isn't just boring, I'm looking towards every weekend of the week for meeting my friends now.  Sunny and Peter will be out later! And soon they will share their army experience with me? 😀

And I heard 1 new song from the radio a few days back that's from My Chemical Romance: welcome to the black parade.   Can't wait for their new album to be released! (sources indicated 22nd Oct)

Presenting a grooving song's music video which I heard over the radio in my office 3days ago:

 (damn my WYSIWYG editor isn't working correctly I suppose.  watch the video here.)

Just imagine the moment I opened up my eyes, I saw this letter on my table that wrote 'On Government Service'.  I was expecting some good news like 'Hey you're transferred to the SPF (Singapore Police Force)' but no.  It wrote there 'No image-capturing devices are to be bought into the SAF camps and training areas with IMMEDIATE EFFECT'. 

Fuck.

Sometimes I really wonder the deferment of my enlistment to National Service, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

I really hate to spend time like that, rotting everyday away until the servicing date, 7 Oct but it seems like there's nothing else I could do other than making use of the remaining time to go out more often with my friends who had/just had entered the NS.

I want to spend my time well, but the late nights I've been having has stopped me from doing so, and being like this is such a pain.  

The good thing: I have a longer time to relax before going in (which is un-necessary as I can't wait to get it)

The bad thing: All of my friends have served except me. (definitely doesn't fit into their conversation much of the time now.) 

God damn time Wasting. 

During this period of time, got myself into more complexed thoughts, more troubles. 

It's really such a pain but who's there to understand me. =/ 

I just wanna put some of my feelings here right now, feeling so depressed and confused.

Someone that once affected my life passed away; it is my ex's grandpa who we greet him as 'ye-ye'.  He had problems hearing that's why he has a hearing-aid on his ear most of the time.  The first thing I do everytime when I reach her house is to greet him as I would see him in the living room watching the television.  At times he would invite me to watch the television with him or have some food etc.  Those days when he needed a helping hand to aid him with his movement, I shown no hesistation and gave him mine hands.  Having him by the dining table was fun too as he would laugh at my ex's young sisters who were fighting for food,  sometimes he would say things that were of no link to the topics we were discussing.

I missed him for the past 2 years.  I couldn't visit him; not because I wasn't allowed to but I didn't dare to. 

He'll always be remembered because he played a part in my life, and hopefully if there are really 5 people who I should meet in Heaven, he should be 1.